


Measureless to Man

by Amanuensis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, F/F, Femslash, The Quidditch Pitch: The Ladies Room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-16
Updated: 2005-10-16
Packaged: 2018-10-26 10:56:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10785402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amanuensis/pseuds/Amanuensis
Summary: Lily doesn't want advice, but she wants to be forewarned





	Measureless to Man

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

For the Pornish Pixies Fantasy Fest request made by lythian -- "Think expectant mothers club, Narcissa just given birth showing other girls a good ti(m)e. 3 players max 2 is good, no incest! pregnancy/nursing tips distributed during onslaught would make me laugh but i leave it in your capable hands"  
Thanks to betas fabularasa and alexandralynch.  
The title comes from Coleridge's Kubla Khan.

"You'll be sorry you haven't a house-elf," said  
Narcissa, handing the squalling red bundle off to the large-eyed  
creature, who took it and began a ridiculous bobble-step and equally  
ridiculous croon about daisies and nifflers. Ridiculous or not, the  
house-elf clearly knew what it was doing, as baby Draco (what a _name,_  
thought Lily) went from squalling to hiccoughs to simple grunty noises  
that were reasonably tolerable to the ear in a matter of moments.

 

It's different when they're your own. Different when they're your own,  
Lily told herself for the billionth time. That week.

 

She couldn't blame James. She'd been just as pleased by the idea of  
starting a family. But...that was the problem; it was the idea that was  
pleasing. Not the prospect of hourly feedings and changings and  
spit-ups and the days you couldn't be arsed to do a simple cleaning  
charm on yourself, or the house, or the baby, you were so tired. She  
couldn't wait to stop being pregnant, no question, but the reality of  
meeting the tot presently kicking her bladder in fierce ignorant  
happiness had her nerves at the breaking point. What if the little  
ankle-biter gave her no more maternal joy, once she had to take care of  
the thing, than that puffy squalling thing in the ruffled satin  
bunting?

 

Ruffles. Ugh.

 

"James's mother offered us a house-elf as a baby present," she said by  
way of filling in the silence (with something other than Draco's  
grunts). "But their Fleta is such a sad little creature. If I had her,  
she'd be on the receiving end of my ugliest maternity robe in a second.  
And I didn't fancy annoying my mother-in-law with that kind of gesture,  
so, better to say no thank you at the outset."

 

Narcissa trilled. Lily had always hated that laugh. "I'd call you a  
soft-hearted, silly thing, except I know that to be untrue. You're no  
more soft-hearted than a harpy. That's good." Her smile was harder,  
unfitting that girlish laugh. "No mother-to-be can afford to be."

 

Lily could read that smile. That smile said it understood why Lily was  
there, even though Lily could hardly put it into words herself. She  
didn't like Narcissa--hated the bloody woman. Hated her and her  
pureblooded house and pureblooded husband and her undisguised contempt  
for all things muggle--and muggle-born. So why had she accepted  
Narcissa's imperious summons--nothing like an _invitation_ \--to  
visit and learn first-hand what was expected of a mother with a  
wizarding newborn? The Malfoys were ruddy Death Eaters, no one didn't  
doubt, and Sirius thought it was also likely of most wizards born a  
Black. Why had she come?

 

Because she wanted to know. Because as kind as her in-laws had been  
about their son marrying a muggle-born, there had been the whispers  
from the others, the open sneers at their wedding, that all of James's  
and Sirius's "Fuck them and their bloody Lord and Lady Muck  
arseholeishness" couldn't completely make better. And the healers meant  
well, but they weren't in the habit of telling her what was best for  
the baby like she meant _best._ They kept giving her all of these  
choices, and normally Lily had to be allowed choices or she'd fight  
like a caged wild thing, but now she wanted to know _how it was done._  
The way bloody purebloods thought you should raise a child and no  
other, and she couldn't get that from the healers and she certainly  
couldn't get that from her sister (even if Petunia had been willing to  
share anything with her freak sister) and she couldn't ask her in-laws  
because they were the ones she wanted to impress, dammit.

 

She didn't care if it was stupid. She didn't care that Narcissa had  
been a right bitch in asking her to come. Probably worried their  
circles were going to cross in a way they never had at Hogwarts, Lily  
being a Potter now, and the less she had to witness uncouth mudblood  
ignorance in Lily and in her children, the better.

 

She didn't even have to take any of Narcissa's advice, if she didn't  
want. But she'd know what it was. And she could be prepared with her  
own damned arguments for not doing everything the fucking pureblood  
way, thankyouverymuch.

 

Narcissa's knowing smile. It crept over her in a way that made Lily  
think of Legilimency. But no. That was silly. "Men don't understand,"  
Narcissa went on. "They look at us, their dear sweet little wives, who  
must be protected, mustn't be exposed to anything nasty. They pat our  
hands and think they're the strong ones, and they have no idea." She'd  
folded her hands, expression almost dreamy now. "Who takes their seed  
and transforms it into life? Why, we do. We create that. We nurture  
that life with our bodies, with our own blood and pain and risk, and  
once we have created it, Merlin help the man who tries to harm it. We'd  
die for it, kill for it. Because it is our place. Because it is our  
pleasure. Because it is our power."

 

Lily wondered what other words beginning with _p_ the woman could  
have slipped at the end of that list, had she chosen.

 

"The word _mother_ is just another word for _warrior_ ,  
Lily-girl."

 

Did I give you permission to call me that? thought Lily. But she  
crossed her arms above her belly--the baby was squirming about and the  
pressure was intense, blast it--and said nothing.

 

If Narcissa noticed her annoyance she pretended she didn't. "Men are  
such fools not to know that. But then, we like to keep them fools,  
don't we?" Her smile was still knowing, but not so hard. "Doesn't it  
amuse you to see James staring at you like you're some Sphinx, full of  
mysteries that you only let out in riddles? Even in our most intimate  
moments--during sex--we don't like to give them instructions, do we?  
That would make them too confident."

 

It could have been the moment for her to smile conspiratorially back,  
make Narcissa think she was winning her over. Why didn't she? Because,  
Lily realized, the statement seemed too close to the truth, and that  
made her uncomfortable. "James is _very_ attentive," she said, as  
dry-voiced as the other woman.

 

Narcissa cocked a cool eyebrow. "Oh, hasn't the man even the civility  
to give his pregnant wife a rest, now that he's secured his dynasty?  
Really, just like men to be such beasts."

 

"Dammit!" False politeness be damned. She'd gone too far. "You're  
twisting it all around." She badly wanted to sit down, but her  
indignation demanded she stay on her feet.

 

That laugh was back. "Of course I am, darling. I'm trying to see your  
true colors, don't you realize. But of course you do." She took a step  
closer. "You realized it as soon as I said 'beasts.' Men may be beasts,  
but that's no insult. Women are beasts as well; didn't I just say  
that?"

 

Lily kept her lips pinched. She wasn't going to pretend to be placated.

 

"And how sweet you are, to defend your husband like that--Dobby,  
Draco's asleep; put him in his crib and leave us." The house-elf  
settled the limp baby--much prettier now that he was sleeping--into the  
crib as Narcissa went on. "We love our men even with all their faults,  
don't we?"

 

"You make it impossible for me to answer anything you say," Lily said,  
in the same dry voice.

 

"You're not being disloyal if you answer, merely female." Narcissa  
moved a stuffed puffskein away from Draco's face--no, wait, the thing  
was real. "And I didn't really mean that a woman's lusts should  
diminish just because she's pregnant. I know what nonsense that is  
firsthand."

 

Lily found it disturbing how easily she was able to forget her thoughts  
about how safe a live puffskein might be in a newborn's crib, in favor  
of an image of pregnant Narcissa searching for the most comfortable  
coupling position with her husband, much as she and James did now.  
Slightly less disturbing was the pleasurable liquid surge it provoked.  
She was used to the discovery that anything and everything got her  
aroused when she was pregnant--even the idea of ice queen Narcissa  
Malfoy going at it. 

"Lucius, for all his manly image, never quite believed he wouldn't hurt  
me or the baby, while I was pregnant. Isn't that frustrating of them?"

 

"Yes." The word was out before she could check it. Clever of Narcissa,  
to include all men, and with them James, in that. Why had she even  
bothered to answer?

 

Because it was true, and it was the first time she'd had anyone speak  
of it. (Damn Petunia, all over again.)

 

"And of course, once the baby's delivered, then they want sex right  
away--when, ironically, as you're nursing, your arousal isn't nearly  
what it was before."

 

Because she wanted to feel contrary--she didn't, and she wanted  
to--Lily tested the waters by saying, "I don't know if I want to nurse.  
There are splendid baby formulas, made with all the best nutrients  
and..." She trailed off, seeing the look on Narcissa's face. Not  
mocking. Not about to laugh again, no. Livid.

 

"You idiot girl. How you got to be Head Girl at Hogwarts I'll never  
know, because you really know nothing, do you?" Narcissa turned her  
back on the crib entirely. "You give your child your own protection  
with your breastmilk. Muggle formulas--are you a witch or not?" Lily  
could see Narcissa's own bosom heaving with her anger. "No, of course  
not. You'll always reek of your Muggle blood--" Lily knew that only a  
supreme amount of breeding prevented Narcissa using the cruder term--"  
and your half-blooded spawn will reek no less. Is that what you want  
for them? Merlin and Morgana, girl, they're going to be _Potters_ \--how  
can you do this to a family of such heritage as theirs?"

 

"You bloody little inbred _tart._ " Lily snarled. "Don't bother  
calling back your house-elf--I'll show myself out. Wouldn't want to  
taint your precious house with my mudblood stink any longer."

 

"Sit down, you foolish girl."

 

"The hell I will."

 

"I said to sit down." Something changed. Narcissa did not have her wand  
out, but Lily knew that somehow this had turned into a duel  
nevertheless, and not of words. "Sit or I will make you get past me to  
leave."

 

She laughed. "You think I'm frightened?"

 

"Yes, I think you will be, when you remember what a fight could do to  
that child in your belly."

 

Lily was still furious, not frightened. How dare the bitch threaten  
her! 

But there was an inner voice telling her that Narcissa was dead right;  
she wouldn't put the baby at risk if she didn't have to. Lovely. This  
was not the way she had wanted to learn that her maternal  
protectiveness was going to be working just fine, thank you.

 

"Now sit."

 

When had she given Narcissa any indication she was going to comply? She  
was still wondering that when she found herself sitting in the  
indicated spot, on the sofa. Damn the woman's assumptions, correct or  
not.

 

"You came here because you needed to know these things, whether you  
want to listen to them or not. I admire that." Narcissa had closed the  
distance between them, stood before her. "What I need now is to make  
you listen, not merely hear."

 

"Why do you care?" Lily said with venom.

 

"Because it amuses me. Because I like to prove how persuasive I am. You  
know what houses we were in at Hogwarts; I don't think you need further  
explanation." She knelt in front of Lily. Lily started to shift away,  
but Narcissa laid a hand on her ankle. "Don't. You'll stay there until  
I'm done with you."

 

"Sure of yourself, aren't you?"

 

"Sure of _you._ " Narcissa's hand stayed on her ankle (which was  
only a little puffy with her pregnancy; she'd been fortunate so far).  
Her other hand reached up to touch Lily's belly. Lily might have  
flinched, but she was so used to everyone doing this--perfect  
strangers, even, thinking they could take the liberty of touching her  
gestating tummy, like she was a lucky piece to rub. It was less  
disturbing from Narcissa than it might have been.

 

"You're feeling it now, aren't you, Lily-girl? What I meant about a  
mother being a warrior. And here you are, choosing your battles. Very  
wise." Narcissa's hand on her leg began to slide upward.

 

Now Lily did flinch. "Stop touching me."

 

"No." Narcissa's hand was at her knee under her robes, and going  
higher. "I plan to have your attention."

 

She had that. Even the baby was squirming again, as if he sensed that  
hand on his mother's abdomen. It was that which stilled Lily, brought  
her vulnerability home in a conscious way. While she didn't really  
believe Narcissa meant to harm her--as opposed to _meaning her harm,_

which she was sure the bitch did--the instinct not to provoke her  
further was too strong to disobey.

 

Narcissa's hand was on her thigh. It should have made Lily angry, to  
have to stay still for that. But the contrast between Narcissa's soft  
fingertips and the grazing sharpness of her long nails was so striking,  
such a never-experienced, female thing, that it brought that liquid  
surge back, unbidden or not. Lily had to stop herself from sucking in  
her breath.

 

The fingertips stroked her skin. "When your child is born, you must  
have at least two midwitches present," Narcissa said, as though she  
were not caressing Lily's thigh. "And no men."

 

"I...want James there," Lily said, happy to be contrary about it, even  
as she tried not to stumble over the words. God. She wanted to nudge  
that hand with her knee, give it a little direction. Bloody pregnancy  
hormones.

 

"It doesn't matter if you want it. The midwitches won't allow it."  
Narcissa's other hand had left her belly and was crawling under the hem  
of Lily's robe. "There are mysteries witches are to know and wizards  
are not. Don't deny your child the newborn's rituals because you  
thought you knew better, girl."

 

Newborn's rituals. That sounded...important. Intimidating. What was it  
Narcissa was doing with--oh. She had her hands on those dreadful plain  
knickers of hers, was inching them down. "You bloody hag," Lily said.

 

"You aren't even supposed to be wearing these. Interferes with the  
conduit between the opening of your womb and the spirits which form  
your child's soul."

 

"You're just making that up!" Lily thought her indignation might make  
up for her small shift on the sofa so that Narcissa could tug them out  
from under her bum.

 

"You wouldn't know, would you?" Narcissa let fall the offending scrap  
and slid her fingers immediately back under Lily’s robes. "Spread your  
knees."

 

The words made her entire body sing with the need to obey. She was  
going to leave a damp spot on that sofa. "I won't," she lied.

 

"Do it." Narcissa showed her no mercy, but flung the robe up to Lily's  
waist, elbows bumping against the insides of her knees to push them  
apart as she did so. Lily moaned, her head falling back. It would be  
easier if she didn't watch.

 

Those fingers pressed into the outer folds of her labia, opening her  
cunt wide. It was all she could do not to arch up. "Merlin." It was an  
eye-roll of a pronouncement. "You never even went for the sigil, did  
you?"

 

"This is where you try to talk me into some kind of bloody piercing, is  
it?" Lily said, half-panting. "Not going to work."

 

"Not a piercing. What kind of madness would a piercing be, on flesh  
that is preparing to stretch and tear? Merely a marking." Two of those  
fingernails did a slow trace down Lily's inner labia, and Lily groaned  
again, the muscles of her cunt twitching. "It attunes the child to  
assume a head-down position for birth, when it's time."

 

"Still think--ah--you're making this up as you go." The fingers had  
moved back up. Lily fought to articulate her words. "The healer  
never--mmp--told me about that."

 

"Yes, well, a healer wouldn't." One finger had stopped on her clitoris,  
was moving in small circles. "The sigil's only one line off from the  
charm which summons an incubus, and there aren't many healers willing  
to put their careers on the line for that one. You get a runesmith, you  
ignorant girl."

 

Lily whimpered. Narcissa was using exactly the right pressure; she  
didn't even need to lean into it. "S-so that's...what you did when  
Lucius was-wasn't enthusiastic enough for you--paid them to mess up the  
m-marking deliberately, didn't you?"

 

Soft laughter, and Narcissa's eyes on hers, holding her gaze even  
though she hadn't thought she wanted to watch. "There's an idea."  
Narcissa shifted forward. "But we don't need an incubus, do we?"

 

And though Lily could barely see over her pregnant belly, she kept her  
eyes on Narcissa's as the kneeling woman leaned in and closed her lips  
about Lily's clit, her tongue flickering over it with a delicacy that  
left her gasping, and then drawing it into her mouth with a suction  
that pulled Lily's hips with it, rising into that suction, that pulse,  
in a rhythm she couldn't even think about resisting.

 

Already there were hands crawling under Lily's robes again; Narcissa  
was making good use of her hands-free manipulation of Lily's clitoris  
to reach underneath and creep up to her breasts--nothing slowly  
seductive here, but a tug at each bra cup to cause her  
pregnancy-swollen nipples to jut over the material, and then Narcissa's  
long fingernails surrounding and pinching each nipple. The sensation  
shot straight to her cunt; her spine arched, pushing more of her  
breasts against those hands even as Narcissa's tongue licked a long,  
hungry path from the wetness at her vagina all the way back to her  
clit, lingering there only long enough to make Lily want more before  
doing it over again.

 

"Oooh..." Dammit, she should be cursing the bitch, not spreading her  
legs for more. And she certainly shouldn't be allowing Narcissa to push  
her like that, one hand in the center of her chest, shifting her so  
that she was now lying on the sofa, and Narcissa was crawling over her,  
curving around Lily's pregnant bulk easily, pushing her robes up to her  
throat for better access to her breasts, setting her mouth upon one  
nipple and biting softly. Lily's cunt fairly flooded with the  
sensation, and even her belly was gripped with it, a slow hard  
contraction that came just this side of hurting, and only made her want  
more. Oh, god, she wouldn't be able to tell anyone about this. No one  
would understand. James would want to murder someone. 

Those fingers were toying with her clit again. Lily whined and pushed  
into them, feeling the nails scratching and plucking at her  
exquisitely. Her cunt tightened, sending the sensation back up to her  
nipples as they were sucked and bitten, and back down again in rippling  
waves. She was going to come, had never needed to come so badly. If  
Narcissa decided to stop Lily was going to shove her mouth back down to  
her cunt and tell her to finish what she'd started, dammit.

 

Narcissa's blonde head was suddenly in her face, almost beatific as she  
kissed Lily on the mouth. It seemed wrong to respond, but Narcissa  
didn't seem interested in waiting to see if Lily would kiss back. She  
covered Lily's mouth with hers and bit and sucked at her lips until  
they felt swollen twice their size, a tender coerced pout that felt no  
less ravished than her nipples and her clit.

 

Then Narcissa was pulling at the neck of her own robes, blue-veined  
breasts in their low neckline only a tug away from cresting over their  
constraints. Pregnancy and breast-feeding had had their way with  
Narcissa's bosom--she'd gone from shapely to generous, Lily had already  
noticed. The sight of them bared, unnaturally round on her chest,  
nipples already standing out, was enough to transfix Lily.

 

Narcissa was already reaching forward with both hands, sliding her  
fingers behind Lily's head to cup it, prevent her from moving as she  
pressed her breasts to Lily's face. Lily understood the reason for  
their impossible roundness--the unfamiliar hardness against her face  
told her she couldn't have nursed the baby for a while. No one had told  
her it felt like that--they used the word "engorged" as if it were a  
bad thing, but Narcissa hadn't seemed to be in pain.

 

"Open your mouth," she heard her say. Lily tried to shake her head. It  
was no more than token protest; the idea of being forced to suckle at  
Narcissa's milk-filled breasts was enough to make her cunt convulse and  
spill. 

Fortunately Narcissa was quite ready to insist. "Oh, yes." She cupped  
her own breast with one hand, rubbed the nipple over Lily's swollen  
lips. A drop of something thin wet Lily's lips, and she opened her  
mouth, Narcissa pressing the nipple inside. Another drop touched her  
tongue; it was thin, and it was slightly sweet. Lily closed her lips  
and sucked.

 

It was not the taste. It was the way it ran over her tongue, how she  
had to swallow after every few sucks; it was the feel of Narcissa's  
hard breast in her mouth, the nipple harder still and pushing against  
her tongue like a caress; it was the way Narcissa sighed with pleasure  
at the suckling and at Lily's obvious consternation that both of them  
were enjoying this as much as they were. 

One of Narcissa's hands was already questing back down to between  
Lily's legs, stroking her clitoris ever so lightly at first, waiting  
until Lily began to grind into her hand before pressing harder, those  
same little circles she'd used at the beginning. She was giving Lily  
the friction she needed, despite the slippery soaking wetness that  
covered her, was saturating her entire cleft from tailbone to mons, and  
Lily knew better than to try to help, knew that her own hands would be  
slapped away, or possibly even tied or hexed if she did, and it was  
driving Lily over the edge to imagine even that.

 

Narcissa's other hand was still cupping the back of Lily's head, and  
pulling her mouth away at the moment of climax was impossible; it was  
all she could do to keep from biting Narcissa's breast as she came,  
hips pulsing in short bursts into her hand, thighs splayed so wide she  
had to dangle one off the sofa, her hands clutching at Narcissa's robes  
because she couldn't think what else to do with them. When the waves  
had finished punishing her, Narcissa still had her fingers pressed to  
Lily's clit, not moving any longer, but knowing that to take them away  
now would be half the pleasure of it gone, like that.

 

Oh.

 

No, they hadn't needed a sigil to conjure an incubus. The evil... _witch._  
Lily's mind gave it a meaning it hadn't had since she'd got her  
Hogwarts letter.

 

Another contraction gripped her belly. It obscured, for the moment, the  
rhythmic quivers of activity from the baby, who was reacting as though  
the orgasm had been something Lily had transferred inward, through her  
blood. How was it that the powerful clench of her womb made the climax  
seem all the sweeter, as if even more hard-won?

 

A noise like a sneeze. Then, a cry. From the crib. The cry didn't stop.

 

Narcissa gave a little sigh, kissed Lily's brow. "After your child is  
born, come back and see me. I have a potion that will correct the  
relaxation of your vagina after the delivery, tighten things  
again--James will be quite pleased with the result, and so will you."

 

Her hand released Lily's head, she slipped her breast from between  
Lily's lips, and stood, her fingers leaving Lily's clitoris only at the  
last possible second. Through the post-orgasmic haze, Lily saw her  
cross to the crib and lift the baby up. Faintly smiling, she returned  
to the sofa, sat down next to Lily--who hadn't moved--and set the  
nipple which Lily had not tasted into Draco's mouth. A fussy noise, a  
whisper of, "Hush, darling, don't be difficult," and after a moment the  
baby latched on with a contented noise and began to nurse.

 

The haze was gone. Nothing so dramatic as nausea had come to replace  
it, but Lily knew Narcissa had meant to show her she was outmatched in  
this kind of game, and Lily wasn't about to argue.

 

She sat up--an act that deserved a bloody medal, these days--pushed  
down her robes and got to her feet. Somehow she knew she couldn't put  
her knickers back on in front of the woman--couldn't even reach for  
them in front of her, in fact. Fuck it.

 

She turned to look at Narcissa, at that deceptively serene picture of a  
mother nursing her child, searched for something to say that would not  
let her leave that room a victim, or a slut, or an ignorant  
mudblood--and that was when the baby gave her bladder another good  
kick. 

 

Bloody _hell._ Lily knew her only remaining act of dignity that  
day was going to be exiting the Malfoy nursery without wetting their  
antique rugs.

 

She made it. And counted it a victory.

 

_-fin_


End file.
